1. |
Savage
04:48
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As I gaze upon my past
I wish I, I wish I could just go back
Equipped with all the knowledge I have gained
Would it be different? Would it all have changed?
How can this happen?
Let's go back to when it all began
To when I was on top of the world
The stars at my finger tips
I could truly feel back then
I left my heart wide open
Only to be consumed by the world
And spit back out again
Even the ones who I loved the most at the time
Assisted with my demise
And maybe it's made me a little less tolerant
Of the ignorance
I cannot go back to being that kind kid again
It's far too late
Let me tell you who I am now
I will eat you alive and tear your heart out
A cold blooded killer
(With peace at mind)
I'll drag your body to the riverside
I saw the colour leave your face
I made no promise that you would wake
I see a white flag raised, have you finally realized?
I am the alpha
I am everything you hate
I am your nightmares
All the light, I'll take away
And your world will grow dark
I'll bring the whole world down with me
Without a shred of guilt
I'll crush what you believe
I have no room for empathy
This is what life has made of me
I guess this is just who I am
Holy fuck, what have I become?
You've given me everything you have
And I just can't get my shit together
I'm sorry love, I know I'm not enough
A dark soul is all I've become
I am a savage
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2. |
Disowned
05:15
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Why the fuck are you the only one that I cannot confront?
A disaster imminent.
Can the course of time be altered?
It's okay, you were replaced long ago
Tell me more, tell me more about how my life disgusts you
That will mend our bond, right?
Nothing ever will
It's over, you can't change
I am nothing but a disappointment
So you say
You have never been more wrong about me
I can feel it, this is the beginning of the end
How can you be so wrong
When it comes to your own son?
You don't even know me anymore
But let's face it you never did
After 20 years, what can you say?
Is that really what you want for me?
Trapped in a room, painted in white
Every fucking day for the rest of my life
And you judge me just for trying to survive
But I fill my lungs while you drink from the bottle
You've been disowned
Why can't you truly learn to feel?
No, you can't leave yet
You owe me some answers first
Why won't you face me?
Face me like a man
Just once, Just once
Drown in the hole that you live in
You've given me nothing of value
No guidance, you skip the advice
just tear me down like you do everytime
(Not one pleasant memory)
I have not one of you
It's about time I tell you the truth
We'll, that's the truth
I wish I could have nothing to do with you
No easy way out, you'll find no loopholes
I kept my mouth shut all these years
Just hear me out, it's your turn to listen
I just want to know what it means to be happy
I am trying to find my place in a world that just isn't for me
You don't make it any easier
I'm cracking under the pressure
There is no other way
What else is there left to say?
Forgive me father, I am just a man
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3. |
The Outcome
04:40
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Where has the path gone?
And how the fuck do I get home from here?
Fuck
Maybe I can retrace my steps
But will I hold myself back again?
And venture out some more, drifting farther into the dark
Fueled by my apathy
I am my enemy
But I can do nothing to stop it
I only have half the map but I still shouldn't be this lost
Everytime, I attempt to get back on track
But at what cost?
My friends, my heart, my hopes and dreams
My well-being, my drive, my family
Which one will it take from me now?
Which one gets buried underground?
Let me let you into my mind for a second
Look around, yeah, it's dark in here
I haven't found a light switch in years
Though I stumble upon a source of light some days
But the dark comes out and tears it away
I guess it's up to me what the future has inside
A constant battle, and I'm terrified
Look at me
I'm dead in the eyes
It is in my chest
It is in my bones
I fear this is as good as it gets
And there is no way home
I'm sick of the hold it has on me
I can't escape it's grasp this time
It has me within it's reach
It controls my mind
Please tell me mother, tell me it will be okay
I'm sorry brother, I wasn't there to guide you the right way
(Now this is the time) Look me in the eye
(Listen to me) You must be a better man than I
Or else as you grow
The entire world you will despise
And this is what we call life
Why don't I feel alive?
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4. |
Ghost of Pretoria
04:46
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What is going on within me?
My body's growing weak and my mind is trying to escape
Please, tell me this is as bad as it gets
Tell me how long this will last
I watch my loved ones leave me behind everyday
Without a second look in my direction
Without me, they walk out that door
I can't believe I trusted you with my life
A mother's love should know no bounds
You're leaving me here to die
And the world felt so far away when you said those words to me
The world felt so far away
Watch what you say
Anything can be arranged
I've been scared, I've been brave
All alone in this cage
After 2 years I've woken up
Right in the middle of my worst nightmare
I can see you, I can hear you
If only you knew
My body is my prison
I am painfully aware of everything around me
As my condition deteriorates
I live in fear of a life alone
I lose my senses, my grip on reality
As I fade away
What are the odds?
I save myself and you thank god
I was nothing but a hollow consciousness
But I know what you said
I know you wished for my death
Now you're dead to me
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5. |
Holdfast
03:45
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I regret it all but it made me who I am today
I'll take my pride, I won't look back
I wish I could burn it all and start again
I don't have enough to salvage this time
There's so much this life lacks
It's all too short but I'm always looking back
On who I was, my hopes and my dreams
They were all stolen from me
Gutted like a pig
Haunted everyday by my decisions
This is what I asked for
I wish I could be the ignorant one
You make it all look so easy
And it's hard looking at the world so poorly
I know too much, it will never go away
I look outside, I see my friends moving on
Content with the life they chose
I've been looked down upon
I have been cast out
Too high on myself to conform
And too low to enjoy a normal life
Am I running out of time?
I am afraid the walls are closing around me
I'm out of options
This is a dead end
Where do I go from here?
Why can't you see it through my eyes?
Why can't you feel what I feel?
You see, they've made you blind
The tide is rising and the wave will swallow you
I am the young and the hopeless
I never wanted any of this
To be an old soul with such a young mind
The knowledge, the courage to step out of line
Always forced to change
I'll tell you now
I am no slave
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